This guy wins:

“A man in the Ukraine is applying for the Guinness World Record for having the largest family on earth.

Pavel Semenyuk, 87, always dreamed of a large family and was thrilled when his wife gave birth to 13 children.

Many births and marriages later, the Semenyuk clan stands at a whopping 346 living descendants, with the youngest member just two weeks old.”

I only have eight children – hopefully some of my children will make up for my relative lack of productivity.

The future belongs to those who show up for it.