Climate Change Will Destroy Everything You Love

Now it’s even going to take away your chocolate:

“When anything bad happens in the world, we can usually count on one thing to make us feel better: chocolate. After all, there’s nothing like a good candy bar or pain au chocolat to comfort us in times of trouble. But what happens when the cruel world decides to target chocolate itself? These are the questions we’ve been faced with since hearing the latest prediction from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA): cacao trees (which grow chocolate-producing cocoa beans) will likely go extinct as early as 2050 because of climate change.”

Just when I think the global warming narrative can’t get any more ridiculous, they up the ante. And this is hard to do, after claiming cow farts were going to melt the ice caps.

There are many, many places where you can grow chocolate. Claiming that a temperature rise of a few degrees will MAKE COCOA EXTINCT has to be the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time.

Possible future headlines: Kittens to Cease, Air Conditioning Soon Impossible, Merlot Will Vanish!”

Enjoy your exceptionally cold winter, which is also somehow due to global warming, and buy a few extra chocolate bars BEFORE THEY’RE ALL GONE FOREVER!

It is SCIENCE.

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