“Hello David,
Greetings! Hope this email finds you well.
Here at Grubterra, we raise black soldier fly larvae for chicken/poultry owners. They are extremely healthy for poultry and are packed with protein, healthy fats, and calcium.
Free Product
We would love to set up a collaboration. I can send you a custom discount code for 100% off one of our 5lb bags of dried black soldier fly larvae. In exchange for a review video.
If this is something you would be interested in, please let me know, and we can hash out the details!”
I am starting to think I should have started a blog on luxury cars. Or guitars. Or nice cameras.
No, instead companies try to offer me bags of dried maggots in return for a video.
There is negative temptation to take an offer like this. Why would I bother getting my camera out to film a review video that will pay a whopping 5lb bag of BSF larvae? That is a terrible return. It’s insulting. And ridiculous.
“Hi, I’m David The Good and I want to tell you about this exciting treat for your chickens!”
At least offer me something cool, like a chipper/shredder. Or a Taylor guitar. Heck, I might even switch to Martin if they sent me a free model.
But I ain’t doin’ no 5lb bag o’ dried grub videos! I got pride in my work!! I’m a contender, man!
You can take your desiccated maggots and go home.
8 responses to “Why Didn’t I Do Something Else With My Life?”
Desiccated maggots… Hahahahahaha! Wow! At least your internet presence did get you some hoes. Lol. I like the pointy one for onion scootching.
I get plenty of my own black soldier fly larvae for free.
Why in the hell did you ever leave USA. Find anywhere better go but you screwed up as we all do!. You can grow shit in a shovel top so find a good place for your roots to grow. Cynicism is for old ones, you ain’t ready yet.
I originally left because the US is collapsing. Not cynicism in this case, just pattern recognition. That said, the escape didn’t work out and we’re back. This area is a bit more resilient so we’ll see what happens.
Hey, David, Continue to let the Lord lead you and your family, and y’all will be safe for eternity! When Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world,” He wasn’t playing. The only safe haven for His people is under His wings. He’ll keep you focused on where that place is (and it may be a moving target!). With that being said, this Arkansas girl thanks you for the straight scoop on Deep South gardening!
Thank you, Sara – I appreciate it.
Oh wow, a 5lb bag of soldier fly larvae. What is that like, a $15 value?
You should reach out to one of the good US-based tool manufacturers you like and ask them if they want to send you some free shovels or tillers or something. Or one of the seed companies you use a lot. Then you don’t have to do anything different, since you’re always making videos about buying seeds and using hand tools anyway.
A lot of cynical viewers will assume that any time you mention a company you used by name, that it’s product placement and you’re being paid for that name drop. You might as well see if some of them will pay you! Doesn’t hurt to ask, anyway.
That’s true. Thank you.