Chances are, you’ve faced this common problem: You want to grow a garden, but your husband couldn’t care less.

You feel a chill when you bring up planting potatoes. Blank stares meet you as you discuss the wonder of squash. And seed-saving? Seriously boring.

When it comes to gardening, you hoe a lonely row. But you hoe it anyway, because you know that a good garden could one day make the difference between inconvenience… and starvation. Why can’t he see what’s so obvious to you? Why won’t your husband tear up some of the lawn? Or spend his Saturday with you and help chop through bindweed and shovel manure on the corn patch?

I know how you feel. Not everyone senses the dangerous winds sweeping around the globe. Not everyone is willing to think about what might happen when the grocery stores run out of food.

But you think about it. And you know you need to convince him to get on board. You can’t do all the gardening alone… and if things get bad, you want your husband and children to know how to grow food.

As a person who’s personally converted many non-gardeners into avid enthusiasts… and who’s been convinced by my wife to jump into projects I might not have undertaken, I have some insight for you on how you can get your husband into gardening. Ready? Let’s start manipulating encouraging the good man to get on board! Here’s how to get your husband’s help in the garden!

Fear is a powerful motivator. Machiavelli wrote that it’s better to be feared than loved… and if you can’t get your husband to love gardening, you might be able to convince him to fear the alternative. Start dropping casual comments like, “Honey… did you know that one zillion people starved during the economic crash that happened in Greater Tramplestan?” or “Wow, did you see that the Slobmart in Dingleton got sacked after an EBT card screw-up?”

Playing “what if” games is good for you and for your family anyhow. It may be that your husband hasn’t explored the possibilities in his mind. Scenarios like “what if the electricity went off” or “what if the Yellowstone caldera blows up” can help you think through potential doomsdays… and after you do, planting a garden looks like a lot better idea.

Fear is a better motivator than “hey, don’t fresh beans taste great?”

Of course… if fear doesn’t work… it’s time to go for the wallet.

Gardening can save you money, particularly if you grow expensive things like salads and tomatoes. Though those aren’t necessarily “survival” crops, growing high value vegetables that you regularly eat will free up extra money for the home economy. That’s money you could use to sock away some silver dollars or buy some sacks of rice.

Men often think in concrete rather than emotional terms. Use this to your advantage by finding ways to stretch your income… and include gardening in the list. Some time with a calculator and a notebook might make all the difference in getting your husband on board. I always appreciate my wife’s work to be a “helpmeet” around the house… it’s good for the male soul to know that his partner is interested in saving some of his – or your – hard-earned income.

Of course… if that doesn’t work… there’s another alternative…

You don’t have to wear the whole bikini, of course… you can wear a pair of jeans on the bottom if you’re afraid of getting your legs scratched up… but even just a sexy top goes a long way towards convincing a fellow that some time in the garden isn’t such a bad idea. 

Don’t tell me this is sexist or chauvinistic or whatever. It’s the truth. Bikinis are a powerful force. Chances are, your husband likes looking at you… or he wouldn’t have married you. 

I don’t hear about Adam complaining when he was in the garden with Eve… naked.

Seriously… just dressing cute helps. And being pleasant. A nice “Darling, I’d love to spend some time with you… I’m going to garden, wanna help?” goes a long way, especially when it’s said by a gal with an adorable sunhat and a bright smile…

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